1.3 Values, Beliefs and Your Essence
Know Your Values
To create a life that you absolutely love, one of the first steps is to understand what you value. The following are a list of values (it is not comprehensive but here to get you the start thinking about what your values are).
Abundant
Freedom
Security
Dependable
Reliable
Loyal
Committed
Open-minded
Consistent
Honest
Efficient
Innovative
Creative
Humorous
Fun-loving
Adventurous
Motivated
Positive
Optimistic
Inspiring
Passionate
Respectful
Athletic/Fit
Courageous
Educated
Respected
Loving
Nurturing
Authentic
On Steven Pavila’s website, he has a pretty extensive list of values. You can view those here.
When you make choices that are not in alignment with your values, unpleasant feelings such as discontent, frustration, dissatisfaction, loneliness, boredom and emptiness can result.
When discovering your core values, question why you want to achieve certain goals. For example, if you want to lose weight, ask yourself why. What will it give you? Love, Freedom, Success, Health, Power?
You may discover that some of your goals aren’t in line with your values. If you’ve been chasing weight loss because you’ve been told you should be a size 2 and you realize that your core value is peace, you may decide that it’s not weight loss that you really want, but peace with food, your body and life.
Imagine a woman that values connection but has been told that success is more important. And, her definition of success is based on her status at work and how much money she makes. So, she spends 60+ hours at work trying to be successful. She gains a promotion, receives a bonus and climbs the corporate ladder, but she’s still not content. It seems she has it all: money, a beautiful family and successful career. But, she was becoming more and more frustrated with her life.
She was neglecting her own essential value system for the sake of her social self that had somehow convinced her that having a nice home, expensive car and a big corner office was more important than her core values.
Our core values are our soul’s deepest desires. However, if you’ve been heavily influenced by others, you are probably not living a value-based life.
When you design your life based on your core values, life unfolds naturally. This doesn’t mean that you will not experience challenges and obstacles, but because your choices are based on what you value most, you are always working with your true self towards creating deeper meaning in your life.
To live a deliberate lifestyle, you must understand who you are as a person and what you value most.
Values answer questions such as:
What is important to me in life?
What do I care about most?
What do I want in my life?
When exploring your values, note if any shoulds appear. These are most likely not your values, but belong to someone else.
Remember, you are a unique individual!
Homework
Imagine your deliberately created self and answer the following questions.
1. When I look in the mirror, I see:
2. My body feels:
3. I surround myself with:
4. I wear clothes that make me feel:
5. I support myself by doing these things:
I am excited about my life because:
I have ____ in the bank and I’m planning my next ____
Now, write a letter from your deliberately created self in six months.
Here’s an example:
Dear Linda,
Gary and I just hosted the most amazing dinner party with some friends. They came over to help us celebrate our going to Europe. We plan on taking a repositioning cruise across the pond, traveling around for for 5 or 6 months and then taking a repositioning cruise back. I’m so excited. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.
Since one of the places we are definitely going to spend time in is France ~ Paris and Bourges and other little towns ~ I decided to make a French inspired meal.
On the menu: Niçoise Salad, Coq au Vin, Potatoes au Gratin. For dessert I made Pots de Crème with fresh strawberries from the local farmer’s market. Normally, I get a little nervous when I give dinner parties because you know how I’m such a messy cook, but this time I was confident and calm. It helped that I did some of the prep the day before.
I didn’t feel stuffed, but elegantly satisfied thanks to learning to listen to my body. I love the art of dining and eating like a lady, instead of all the rules that I used to think I had to follow to be slim.
Then, when everyone left, I cleaned up, filled with so much love and gratitude for the life I have. I’m going to sleep in a state of peace. I am so excited to go on this adventure.
Your Turn (use a separate piece of paper or your journal):
Read your letter and choose the top 3 words that describe “you” at the end (i.e. bold, confident, sexy, happy, abundant, irresistible, powerful, loving, healthy, etc).
1.
2.
3.
These are your Essence words. Your goal is to embody these every day through your thoughts and actions. These words will guide you.
(Note: You can change your Essence words when you feel you need to. If you chose connection, happy and abundance, but you have a meeting coming up and you need to embody something different. Change your words ~ maybe confident, focused and calm are more the words you want to embody for the meeting. When I was creating this course, my essence words would clarity, focus and wisdom. So I hope you get the idea.
What’s Next:
In our next lesson, we will delve into our CURRENT money story and then how to change it.
Know Your Values
To create a life that you absolutely love, one of the first steps is to understand what you value. The following are a list of values (it is not comprehensive but here to get you the start thinking about what your values are).
Abundant
Freedom
Security
Dependable
Reliable
Loyal
Committed
Open-minded
Consistent
Honest
Efficient
Innovative
Creative
Humorous
Fun-loving
Adventurous
Motivated
Positive
Optimistic
Inspiring
Passionate
Respectful
Athletic/Fit
Courageous
Educated
Respected
Loving
Nurturing
Authentic
On Steven Pavila’s website, he has a pretty extensive list of values. You can view those here.
When you make choices that are not in alignment with your values, unpleasant feelings such as discontent, frustration, dissatisfaction, loneliness, boredom and emptiness can result.
When discovering your core values, question why you want to achieve certain goals. For example, if you want to lose weight, ask yourself why. What will it give you? Love, Freedom, Success, Health, Power?
You may discover that some of your goals aren’t in line with your values. If you’ve been chasing weight loss because you’ve been told you should be a size 2 and you realize that your core value is peace, you may decide that it’s not weight loss that you really want, but peace with food, your body and life.
Imagine a woman that values connection but has been told that success is more important. And, her definition of success is based on her status at work and how much money she makes. So, she spends 60+ hours at work trying to be successful. She gains a promotion, receives a bonus and climbs the corporate ladder, but she’s still not content. It seems she has it all: money, a beautiful family and successful career. But, she was becoming more and more frustrated with her life.
She was neglecting her own essential value system for the sake of her social self that had somehow convinced her that having a nice home, expensive car and a big corner office was more important than her core values.
Our core values are our soul’s deepest desires. However, if you’ve been heavily influenced by others, you are probably not living a value-based life.
When you design your life based on your core values, life unfolds naturally. This doesn’t mean that you will not experience challenges and obstacles, but because your choices are based on what you value most, you are always working with your true self towards creating deeper meaning in your life.
To live a deliberate lifestyle, you must understand who you are as a person and what you value most.
Values answer questions such as:
What is important to me in life?
What do I care about most?
What do I want in my life?
When exploring your values, note if any shoulds appear. These are most likely not your values, but belong to someone else.
Remember, you are a unique individual!
Homework
Imagine your deliberately created self and answer the following questions.
1. When I look in the mirror, I see:
2. My body feels:
3. I surround myself with:
4. I wear clothes that make me feel:
5. I support myself by doing these things:
I am excited about my life because:
I have ____ in the bank and I’m planning my next ____
Now, write a letter from your deliberately created self in six months.
Here’s an example:
Dear Linda,
Gary and I just hosted the most amazing dinner party with some friends. They came over to help us celebrate our going to Europe. We plan on taking a repositioning cruise across the pond, traveling around for for 5 or 6 months and then taking a repositioning cruise back. I’m so excited. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a very long time.
Since one of the places we are definitely going to spend time in is France ~ Paris and Bourges and other little towns ~ I decided to make a French inspired meal.
On the menu: Niçoise Salad, Coq au Vin, Potatoes au Gratin. For dessert I made Pots de Crème with fresh strawberries from the local farmer’s market. Normally, I get a little nervous when I give dinner parties because you know how I’m such a messy cook, but this time I was confident and calm. It helped that I did some of the prep the day before.
I didn’t feel stuffed, but elegantly satisfied thanks to learning to listen to my body. I love the art of dining and eating like a lady, instead of all the rules that I used to think I had to follow to be slim.
Then, when everyone left, I cleaned up, filled with so much love and gratitude for the life I have. I’m going to sleep in a state of peace. I am so excited to go on this adventure.
Your Turn (use a separate piece of paper or your journal):
Read your letter and choose the top 3 words that describe “you” at the end (i.e. bold, confident, sexy, happy, abundant, irresistible, powerful, loving, healthy, etc).
1.
2.
3.
These are your Essence words. Your goal is to embody these every day through your thoughts and actions. These words will guide you.
(Note: You can change your Essence words when you feel you need to. If you chose connection, happy and abundance, but you have a meeting coming up and you need to embody something different. Change your words ~ maybe confident, focused and calm are more the words you want to embody for the meeting. When I was creating this course, my essence words would clarity, focus and wisdom. So I hope you get the idea.
What’s Next:
In our next lesson, we will delve into our CURRENT money story and then how to change it.