2.3 This is Your Life, So What is That Doing Here?
By now, you’ve likely discovered that there are at least a few areas of your life in which you’re not living in true harmony with who you are. You may have uncovered some areas of disharmony and most likely have a few habits, beliefs, thoughts or people that just don’t fit.
Realizing that there are areas of your life in which you’re not fully satisfied or that don’t feel good is a wonderful starting point for clearing out what doesn’t belong and making room for a fully satisfying, feel-good life.
Perhaps your current behavior or thinking is out of line with your values. Maybe you’ve lost touch with what matters most to you. Or perhaps you had simply fallen into stale, outdated convention and temporarily lost sight of what you truly desire.
Remember, 90% of people living out of touch with who they really are, and what they truly want. That’s a sad statistic. And I don’t want it to happen to you!
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life and want to live more authentically, then a bit of personal housekeeping will be required in order to get rid of what’s not working. It’s time for you to take control of your life and say, “This is me and this is my life so what the heck is that doing here? It’s time for it to go!”
Remember that your goal is to have a life that feels INCREDIBLE. A life that’s not in tune with the real you has no place any more.
Here’s what that means for you right now ...
When you noted an area of your life that didn’t feel right (i.e. not satisfied with) in Lesson 1 “Your Current Reality”, that’s your that you have an opportunity to let go of something.
What do you need to let go of that is not part of who you are or your path in life?
What do you need to let go of that’s not working or that is no longer a fit?
What do you need to let go of that is not moving you forward with your goals and dreams?
Having anything in your life that doesn’t belong is like carrying around a dead weight that doesn’t serve you.
Think of a mountain climber who is about to embark on an expedition to climb a mountain peak. In order to reach his destination, a smart climber travels light carrying only the essentials in gear which will serve him and his purpose.
He is very clear on his goal, his purpose and his mission – to reach the summit – and he knows to bring along only those items which will serve his mission.
The climber understands that if he brings along heavy unnecessary extras, he’ll waste precious energy, time, and effort ... and it could even make the difference between achieving the summit and toppling headlong into a crevasse along the way.
The same goes for you: from now on, in order to achieve intense success and powerful results in your life, you’re going to carry only what is essential to your mission. The rest? Chuck it!
So what are the essentials and the non-essentials on the road to becoming who you are?
Quite simply, when you think of your own personal “summit”, your essentials are all those things which are going to fuel you and your mission. Non-essentials are all
those things that can sap your energy and hinder you from achieving your mission and becoming who you are meant to be.
We tend to hold onto many things in life simply because it’s comfortable.
Have you ever gone on vacation and packed far more than you needed? Have you faced the discomfort of trying to decide what not to pack?
While it can feel comfortable having more than you need and a “life suitcase” that is full, it’s not essential ... and those false feelings of “safety” and “comfort” are exactly what’s standing between you and the incredible life you desire and deserve!
Are your beliefs, possessions, relationships, thoughts, problems, emotions, behaviors and habits fueling or hindering your journey?
What is taking you forward and what is holding you back from becoming all that you can be?
Most of us cling to false or limiting beliefs or negative thinking. We may cling to a particular belief because we fear the vulnerability of letting go. Or we are afraid to change.
By choosing to believe, for example, that you’re too old to change your job, you’re allowing yourself to avoid facing your fears of changing your career.
Only when you choose to replace your belief with a more positive and helpful one will you feel better and begin to move forward.
At other times, we may find ourselves in situations that repeatedly lead to unhappiness and frustration. It could be that we need to let go of a job, a friendship or a living situation that is not working.
You may, for instance, have a friendship that you find negative and emotionally draining. You can choose to limit the amount of time you spend with that friend, or you can choose to end the friendship permanently.
Rather than simply accepting the situation, letting go will require you to change how your handle the circumstances pertaining to that situation.
It could be your own habits or behaviors that are not reflective of the life you would truly like to be living. Once you acknowledge that your habit is not serving you, the next step is to find a more favorable habit to take its place.
For example, if you realize that your habit of eating too many cookies every night after dinner is not helping you meet your ideal weight goals, you have a choice: discipline now, or the pain of not meeting your goals later.
Eating too many cookies may feel good “in the moment”, but it will cause ongoing pain for you in the long run, when you struggle daily with overweight, low self-esteem, and the pain of wishing things were other than they are.
Be patient with yourself on this step as forming new habits takes time and experimentation to discover what works and what doesn’t.
When considering any area of your life and whether to keep an item or let it go, a very simple question that you can ask yourself is this: “Does it feel good to hang onto ‘X’?”, whether it’s a belief, a possession, a relationship, a situation or whatever it may be. If your answer is no, it’s time to let it go.
Frequently we hang onto something that is not in tune with who we are – a job, a relationship, a possession, or an emotion – simply because we wish to fill a void or feel comfortable, without recognizing the price that we’re paying to do so.
Hanging onto anything that isn’t a part of who you truly are will never feel good and it can be described as clutter.
Letting go of what no longer serves feels really good which can only propel you to enjoying a life that feels good too. It’s the simple Law of Attraction at work.
By releasing what no longer works and making room for things that do work for you, from now on you’ll be saying, “Wow! This is my life and look what I’ve got here!”
Homework
1. Take this weekend, if you can, to start decluttering your physical space. This exercise will ultimately help clear your emotional and spiritual space too. The principles and questions used in this exercise certainly apply to any area of your life in which you may wish to practice letting go.
Pick a room or area in your home. Take a careful look around at your surroundings and pick an item you wish to get rid of.
Ask yourself these three questions:
Do I love it?
Does it serve me?
Have I used it in the past year?
If you can not answer “yes” to these three questions then this item is clutter. It’s non-essential.
If you feel a bit of resistance to this exercise, you’ll find it helpful to think of it this way:
You want your new goals, dreams and ways of being to fit into your life, right? Have you ever over-packed yet kept trying to stuff more items into your suitcase? At some point, it can’t hold anything else until you clear some things out. It’s the same with life. You have to get rid of what you really don’t need in order to make room for what you really do want.
2. The Burning Bowl
Here’s a simple exercise that will help you to deal with negative situations and clear negative thoughts from your mind.
Write down the negative thoughts or problems that you’d like to let go of. Perhaps you’re having a problem with a relationship, with a family member or co-worker. Whatever it is, write your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper.
On another piece of paper write down the positive thoughts or outcome that you’d like to see fill the void left by the departing negative thoughts.
Go outside and light a small fire in a pit, bowl or safe container and toss your negative list into the fire.
As it burns, consciously release these thoughts and the situation and welcome something new.
Note: If lighting a fire is not possible where you life, you can always put those pieces of paper in a trash bag and throw them out.
What’s Next:
Next week, we will start to flex our manifesting muscle.
By now, you’ve likely discovered that there are at least a few areas of your life in which you’re not living in true harmony with who you are. You may have uncovered some areas of disharmony and most likely have a few habits, beliefs, thoughts or people that just don’t fit.
Realizing that there are areas of your life in which you’re not fully satisfied or that don’t feel good is a wonderful starting point for clearing out what doesn’t belong and making room for a fully satisfying, feel-good life.
Perhaps your current behavior or thinking is out of line with your values. Maybe you’ve lost touch with what matters most to you. Or perhaps you had simply fallen into stale, outdated convention and temporarily lost sight of what you truly desire.
Remember, 90% of people living out of touch with who they really are, and what they truly want. That’s a sad statistic. And I don’t want it to happen to you!
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life and want to live more authentically, then a bit of personal housekeeping will be required in order to get rid of what’s not working. It’s time for you to take control of your life and say, “This is me and this is my life so what the heck is that doing here? It’s time for it to go!”
Remember that your goal is to have a life that feels INCREDIBLE. A life that’s not in tune with the real you has no place any more.
Here’s what that means for you right now ...
When you noted an area of your life that didn’t feel right (i.e. not satisfied with) in Lesson 1 “Your Current Reality”, that’s your that you have an opportunity to let go of something.
What do you need to let go of that is not part of who you are or your path in life?
What do you need to let go of that’s not working or that is no longer a fit?
What do you need to let go of that is not moving you forward with your goals and dreams?
Having anything in your life that doesn’t belong is like carrying around a dead weight that doesn’t serve you.
Think of a mountain climber who is about to embark on an expedition to climb a mountain peak. In order to reach his destination, a smart climber travels light carrying only the essentials in gear which will serve him and his purpose.
He is very clear on his goal, his purpose and his mission – to reach the summit – and he knows to bring along only those items which will serve his mission.
The climber understands that if he brings along heavy unnecessary extras, he’ll waste precious energy, time, and effort ... and it could even make the difference between achieving the summit and toppling headlong into a crevasse along the way.
The same goes for you: from now on, in order to achieve intense success and powerful results in your life, you’re going to carry only what is essential to your mission. The rest? Chuck it!
So what are the essentials and the non-essentials on the road to becoming who you are?
Quite simply, when you think of your own personal “summit”, your essentials are all those things which are going to fuel you and your mission. Non-essentials are all
those things that can sap your energy and hinder you from achieving your mission and becoming who you are meant to be.
We tend to hold onto many things in life simply because it’s comfortable.
Have you ever gone on vacation and packed far more than you needed? Have you faced the discomfort of trying to decide what not to pack?
While it can feel comfortable having more than you need and a “life suitcase” that is full, it’s not essential ... and those false feelings of “safety” and “comfort” are exactly what’s standing between you and the incredible life you desire and deserve!
Are your beliefs, possessions, relationships, thoughts, problems, emotions, behaviors and habits fueling or hindering your journey?
What is taking you forward and what is holding you back from becoming all that you can be?
Most of us cling to false or limiting beliefs or negative thinking. We may cling to a particular belief because we fear the vulnerability of letting go. Or we are afraid to change.
By choosing to believe, for example, that you’re too old to change your job, you’re allowing yourself to avoid facing your fears of changing your career.
Only when you choose to replace your belief with a more positive and helpful one will you feel better and begin to move forward.
At other times, we may find ourselves in situations that repeatedly lead to unhappiness and frustration. It could be that we need to let go of a job, a friendship or a living situation that is not working.
You may, for instance, have a friendship that you find negative and emotionally draining. You can choose to limit the amount of time you spend with that friend, or you can choose to end the friendship permanently.
Rather than simply accepting the situation, letting go will require you to change how your handle the circumstances pertaining to that situation.
It could be your own habits or behaviors that are not reflective of the life you would truly like to be living. Once you acknowledge that your habit is not serving you, the next step is to find a more favorable habit to take its place.
For example, if you realize that your habit of eating too many cookies every night after dinner is not helping you meet your ideal weight goals, you have a choice: discipline now, or the pain of not meeting your goals later.
Eating too many cookies may feel good “in the moment”, but it will cause ongoing pain for you in the long run, when you struggle daily with overweight, low self-esteem, and the pain of wishing things were other than they are.
Be patient with yourself on this step as forming new habits takes time and experimentation to discover what works and what doesn’t.
When considering any area of your life and whether to keep an item or let it go, a very simple question that you can ask yourself is this: “Does it feel good to hang onto ‘X’?”, whether it’s a belief, a possession, a relationship, a situation or whatever it may be. If your answer is no, it’s time to let it go.
Frequently we hang onto something that is not in tune with who we are – a job, a relationship, a possession, or an emotion – simply because we wish to fill a void or feel comfortable, without recognizing the price that we’re paying to do so.
Hanging onto anything that isn’t a part of who you truly are will never feel good and it can be described as clutter.
Letting go of what no longer serves feels really good which can only propel you to enjoying a life that feels good too. It’s the simple Law of Attraction at work.
By releasing what no longer works and making room for things that do work for you, from now on you’ll be saying, “Wow! This is my life and look what I’ve got here!”
Homework
1. Take this weekend, if you can, to start decluttering your physical space. This exercise will ultimately help clear your emotional and spiritual space too. The principles and questions used in this exercise certainly apply to any area of your life in which you may wish to practice letting go.
Pick a room or area in your home. Take a careful look around at your surroundings and pick an item you wish to get rid of.
Ask yourself these three questions:
Do I love it?
Does it serve me?
Have I used it in the past year?
If you can not answer “yes” to these three questions then this item is clutter. It’s non-essential.
If you feel a bit of resistance to this exercise, you’ll find it helpful to think of it this way:
You want your new goals, dreams and ways of being to fit into your life, right? Have you ever over-packed yet kept trying to stuff more items into your suitcase? At some point, it can’t hold anything else until you clear some things out. It’s the same with life. You have to get rid of what you really don’t need in order to make room for what you really do want.
2. The Burning Bowl
Here’s a simple exercise that will help you to deal with negative situations and clear negative thoughts from your mind.
Write down the negative thoughts or problems that you’d like to let go of. Perhaps you’re having a problem with a relationship, with a family member or co-worker. Whatever it is, write your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper.
On another piece of paper write down the positive thoughts or outcome that you’d like to see fill the void left by the departing negative thoughts.
Go outside and light a small fire in a pit, bowl or safe container and toss your negative list into the fire.
As it burns, consciously release these thoughts and the situation and welcome something new.
Note: If lighting a fire is not possible where you life, you can always put those pieces of paper in a trash bag and throw them out.
What’s Next:
Next week, we will start to flex our manifesting muscle.